The Public Record is a satire publication. Every story we publish is fictional, every quote in every story is invented, and every named "official" — congressional, municipal, agricultural, or canine — is made up. If you came here looking for actual news, we are flattered, but you should keep moving.
We exist because somewhere in the last two decades, the line between "press release" and "fan fiction" got noticeably thinner, and we felt strongly that someone should be on the other side of it, on purpose. Our job is to wear the suit of a real newspaper, sit very still, and tell you things that didn't happen.
Editorial standards
We hold ourselves to the highest editorial standards available in fiction. Every article is read by at least one editor and at least one person who walked into the room by accident. Sources are required to be vivid, unnecessary, and impossible to verify. If a quote is too plausible, we make it stranger; if a quote is too strange, we make it slightly more plausible, then stranger again.
What we cover
We cover politics that did not occur, culture that has not yet existed, lifestyle trends nobody is following, internet phenomena visible only to us, and weird news from places that may or may not be on a map. Our opinion section operates on the principle that any opinion held strongly enough will eventually become a piece.
Who we are not
We are not The Onion. We are not The Babylon Bee. We are not your uncle's group chat. We do not endorse candidates, products, or any of our own writers personally. We are not affiliated with any real publication, regardless of how closely our logo squints.
If you think a story is real
Please re-read it. Please then re-read this page. If after both you remain convinced one of our stories is real, we would like to invite you to write for us.
Contact
Editorial inquiries, corrections we will not run, complaints that will be filed but not opened: editor@example.com. To pitch a story, please Submit a Tip. To complain about a story you read on a different website, please direct that complaint to that different website.